It is what it is

My last post was on 19 July 2010...today is 26 March. So I feel like I have to write to clean my slate, to get it all out. Yes I can go into all the reasons why, but if I really distill the past few months and come up with a shortish answer it would go something like this: i had some big dreams of becoming a fabulous entrepreneur, and life got in the way, or more accurately I got in the way and instead of starting my own business I took a new job...another corporate treadmill type job. Since said new job is being a home decor buyer for a big retailer I thought "atleast its in line with what I want to do" but I was so mistaken. I was so wrong.

Some of the good that's come of it is that I've travelled a lot in the last 3 months - LA, Denmark, Frankfurt, London, Singapore. But instead of feeling inspired, I feel utterly exhausted. I don't have a single creative pulse in body right now. And I wonder how I got here, what happened? I suppose I don't have the courage to go out on my own and start something new. I feel safe knowing that I'll get my salary at the end of every month. And by doing that I waste so many precious hours, sitting behind my computer screen, trawling through a million emails, and worse still - sitting through hours of endless meetings about meetings. I fucking hate meetings.

So here I am, stuck again. I don't know how I'm going to navigate my way out of this mess, but maybe tomorrow will hold some more answers, and maybe it won't. But at least writing about this feels therapeutic and maybe its a small step in the right direction? No pics to accompany this depressing post unfortunately.

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